HHNT!!!!!!

Sorry, we have been busy, but here is what I was doing last night.

our first hnt

Ms. Lily's question

I am a stay at home mom of three, I do the regular mom things during the day, I bring our daughters to the bus picking them up in the afternoon. I bring the girls to karate. Now my problem is I have a six hour span home and I no longer clean the house, so how do I make my life more fulfilling, I don't contribute financially and now home responsibilities are left to my knight. I do the shopping, which I enjoy, too much sometimes, but my friends and I can't go to lunch and shopping everyday. And yes, I realize that raising your children is a full time job, and I enjoy and appreciate the fact that I am able to be home with them. (thanks to my wonderful knight who gives so much of himself to support his family) So, if anyone has some advice on how to feel more fulfilled, please share.

Ms. Lily

Mutual Respect

While I understand the concept of a FLR, there has to, on some level, mutual respect between both partners. Without mutual respect the relationship (vanilla, FLR, or any other type) is doomed. Mutual respect gives no one more power over the other, it just makes things progress smoothly. To love is to respect and care about the other persons feelings and emotions.

Next Level

Today Ms. Lily had me drop her off at her ex-boyfriends store. She than had me run an errand for her, while she caught up on things with him (Ms. Lily and the ex. have kept up a professional relationship). Todays visit was on a little different level though. Ms. Lily went there because while she was dating him (13years ago) he had mentioned, Ms. Lily picking up a random guy and bringing him back to the ex's house and having sex with him while the ex was hidden in the closet. Well Ms. Lily explained to the ex our new relationship. She told him that she was in charge and could do what ever she wanted. Ms. Lily told me afterward that he looked flabbergasted, and asked only one question, "Who is in the closet?" Ms. Lily's reply was nobody. So I was outed to her ex and I do not know what this is going to bring. Ms. Lily knows that anything goes except intercourse, (this is something that we have discussed and we both agree that in our situation we would not feel comfortable with). So I will keep everyone informed of any progress.
On to day to day life, things are going ok, Ms. Lily and I went panty shopping last night and she bought me four pairs of new panties (two thongs, one boycut and a lacy boycut). I have been working non-stop as of late, (10-12 hours aday 7 days a week) and I still have been keeping up with most of my chores. My morning routine has been way off. Getting up has been very tough, especially since Ms. Lily has kept me up till the wee hours of the morning for the past week, so I can service her, and be her boytoy than try to fall asleep rock hard. Ms. Lily is getting very very good at pushing my sexual buttons. For example she has made contact with one of her acquaintances that is a retired Pro-Dom and asked her for Femdom 101 lessons, either verbally or using me as an example, (total fantasy or total nightmare, have not decided yet, oh the possibilities). Ms. Lily has verbally turned me on by telling me that I am going to service one of her friends while Ms. Lily gives me commands and masturbates, since she has not done anything sexual since she got divorced 2 years ago. (Ms. Lily says that was just to turn me on and that it will never happen, too bad).
Little update Ms. Lily has held me to 1 orgasm in two weeks. She has had multiple, and the one I did have I had to clean up until she orgasmed again. I am getting very used to eating my own cum, it is not as bad as people say it is. She has told me that I have to get used to it because someday it might be someone else's cum I will be eating, not cleaning up but getting right from the source. Yes, she has told me that in the future she would possibly like to see me suck on a cock and have a load shot into my mouth (this goes back to the ex story that happened today).
Let me tell you that you have to be careful what you wish for. Ms. Lily was very vanilla until I brought this concept up to her, since that she has grabbed the reins and has taken total control. I think this to be because we have open communication. I have said in past posts that to make any relationship work you need good communication. I have read some blogs out there, where there seems like there is no communication and I don't mean talking. Everyone talks (how was your day?, how is the weather?). When I talk about communication, I mean intimate thoughts on true emotional levels. You see right now as I am typing this Ms. Lily is right here next to me. This gives her a way to see how I am feeling about this and can add her two cents to the conversation, even though my two cents is always worth more than two cents. But this is how we have always been. Ms. Lily and I have always been right next to each other, we are able to complete each other sentences when we talk, we know what the other one is thinking.
This morning Ms. Lily asked me "Why do you love me?". My response was I do not know. I could not explain it, I did tell her that she completes of me in a way that no one else could. My love for her cannot be explained in words.
So my thought of the day (something I will start writing everyday even if I cannot write a long blog) is communication is the key to a happy relationship. Even being submissive we all have wants, needs, desires, and issues we need to let our wifes know about. I will keep the thought of the day in green, I am doing this to help others in there quest to a FLR. Some days they will be stupid little rants other days they will be helpful hints so you do not make the same mistakes that I have.

The beginning II

I realized that I omitted in my post yesterday my fantasy about other men. Well I am completely secure in my sexuality, but my fantasy is as follows: Ms Lily goes out for a night on the town while I stay home and take care of things around the house. While she is out she picks up a gentleman/couple to bring home (surprise to me). When she arrives home she instructs me to strip and to start pleasuring the gentleman while she instructs me in the proper way to suck a c_ck. Ms. Lily (or female partner) straps on a dildo and f_cks me all the while I am being called a c_ck loving whore (CLW for short). The turn-on for me is more about Ms. Lily ordering me to do this than the actual sexual act. Ms. Lily and I have discussed this fantasy and both of us decided that it is better to leave it a fantasy. This is because we both think that any sexual act with another person is cheating (I have read blogs about cuckolded husbands, and blogs that say that it is just sex) well personal opinion is that it is a great disrespect to the other partner in the relationship.
I say that we took a vow and we hold true to that vow, not to offend anybody. Ms Lily
So as of late Ms. Lily has been teasing me with this fantasy. She keeps texting me saying that she found a cute guy that she is going to bring home for us to share. You see I know that it will never happen (not that I want it to).
Ok enough of that, I keep coming back to this one question. Am I submissive? Well I still cannot answer that. You see I do not feel submissive, because I enjoy helping Ms. Lily, it makes her happy and less stressed which in turn makes me happy and less stressed. In the beginning conversations, Ms. Lily told me that normally when I would come home from work she felt like she had to walk on egg-shells because if I had a bad day I would take it out on her. This does not lead to a good relationship, but now if I have a bad day I come home take care of my chores, (during this time I am able to unwind) and then when I am done, my Queen and I talk. This I do not feel is submissive , I see this as a change of behavior to better suit our relationship. I understand now how Ms. Lily felt because of the first night that she gave me a discipline spanking. She spanked me for 35 minutes (I did not think she could go through with it, she showed me) but for the next two days I felt like I had to walk on egg-shells when I was around her so I would not be bent over bare assed getting paddled . Ms. Lily noticed the change to, because we talk on the phone five to six times a day and on those two days I think we talked a total of 4 times. So back to the question: Am I submissive? I do not know if I will ever be able to answer this question. The things I do know, is that Ms. Lily is happy, I am happy, and we both truly love each other.
Another reason I question my submissiveness is because nothing has change in our lives. Yes I do more to help Ms. Lily but our day to day lives have not changed. We still joke around with each other, we are still very touchy feelly, we still dance around our kitchen, and we still do the things to each other that we did before we started our WLM. With the one exception I realize she has always made the decisions and now I accept it.

The beginning

At the beginning of Ms. Lily's and my relationship we were very vanilla. Then I informed her that I wanted to try anal. Ms. Lily had never done it before and she agreed to try it, and I told her that she could do what ever I did to her to me. So the day came that I was able to f_ck Ms. Lily's ass, we at the time had a cheap vibrator (I think I bought it at Spencer's in the mall as a joke to Ms. Lily) which I inserted in to my ass while I was in hers. So since the beginning of our relationship together (12 years) Ms. Lily has known about my anal fetish. Little did I know back than that the prostate is the male G-Spot. So jump a few years, I would look at porn on the computer, women f_cking men with strap-ons mostly, I kept this hidden from Ms. Lily. Than one night after we had amazing sex I took the plunge and showed her the website that I would look at. At first Ms. Lily was upset, Ms. Lily did not tell me she was upset but I knew because she became very distant. Than Ms. Lily asked me if I ever fantasized about having sex with men, she knew the answer before I said yes (when she asked it surprised me and I took a few seconds to answer). This really upset Ms. Lily not because of what I was looking at or fantasized about but lying by omission. We spent the rest of that night talking (we also had sex again because Ms. Lily wanted to show me that my fears of her leaving me were unjust). We talked more than we have ever talked in our entire relationship (deep meaningful conversations) during these conversations I came to the realization that my mother sexually abused when I was a child ( no worries, I am over it and Ms. Lily has helped me tremendously).
Over the next couple of weeks Ms. Lily read everything she could on BDSM , femdom, and than she came upon, "The New Bride’s Guide to Training Her Husband" by By Emily and Ken Addison. To tell the truth we read the book together. We both agreed with the concept and said lets try it out. This was Thanksgiving '07.
So as we started our journey towards a WLM we set a couple of ground rules. 1. We do not do anything that could jeopardize our children, 2. At any time either one of us could call it quits (so long as Ms. Lily approves of my reason), 3. we treat each other with respect especially in front of our children, 4. No extreme physical or mental abuse. Ms. Lily set some rules right away for me to follow 1. I am to shave my chest and genitals, 2. I am to sleep naked (with permission of Ms. Lily I can sleep with a t-shirt on), 3. I am to rub, kiss, file,and lotion Ms Lily's feet every night, 4. Ms. Lily receives a pedicure once a month, 5. I am to do anything Ms. Lily asks without hesitation.
Ms Lily now gives a list of chores at the beginning of every month that needs to be completed by the end of the month. This list is to be done on my time. If the list is not completed Ms. Lily spanks my rear with a number of different spanking implements. I also have my daily chore list (dishes, floors, straighten up). We do have our children do their daily chores too, so I have more time to take care of my Queen. Our children do basic things around the house (dust vacuum, clean their rooms, trash, and recycling). This helps me because I work long hours, sometimes seven days a week.
So ttfn Ms. Lily wants to have a smoke and it is time for her foot rub.